Talk to Me Tuesday… The New Guy

Welcome to Talk to Me Tuesday, where you write me and I try my best to use my woman’s intuition, past life experiences, and common sense to help you along your journey.

You are probably wondering: Why does this girl think that she can just give out advice? I mean there a licensed professionals out there who can help!

Well you are right, please if you feel like this is a life or death situation, GO GET PROFESSIONAL HELP! If you just need some sound advice and a place to vent, and all of your friends are completely tired of hearing you, I got you! I have lived sooooo much in my 28 years. I have been in love a few times, I have had to break my own heart( ouch), walked away from a fiancé and the life we planned together, quit a couple of jobs, bought a house, built and maintained excellent credit, graduated from college, and I help raise 3 beautiful (and sometimes,jerks) little girls, and have found my purpose and calling. So yeah, though I do not know it all, I know a thing or two about living!

So lets jump in!


Here’s a simple question with a not-so-simple answer…

I’ve started talking to this guy recently, but I hadn’t felt that I was over my ex until then. Do you think I may be subconsciously trying to replace my ex, or could I actually like him? I feel like I do like him, but I want to be fair to him.

First thank you for your question! I completely know what you mean! When it comes to love, and honestly anything, your first answer is normally the right one.

To me, you don’t seem to be over your ex, a piece of you is still wanting him, which is normal. What makes this not that great is that it seems like you haven’t quite healed from this past relationship. If you have to ask if you have feelings for the new guy, that’s a red flag there. When you are looking for love, you’ll know when you want to be with someone, you won’t have to ask.

So I personally think it’s not very fair to the new guy if you still have unresolved feelings for your ex. After a breakup it is so important to take the time heal before moving into a new relationship. That being said, if you are honest with yourself and him, you might have something here. You do not have to stop talking to him or seeing him, especially if this a new and fresh romance. I would suggest taking your time, figure out your feelings and be honest with this new guy every step of the way. If a man truly wants to be with you, there is nothing that will stop him, he will have patience with you. If doesn’t understand and can’t have patience with you, then this may not be the guy for you. If you decide that this isn’t something that you are ready for or want, you have to tell the new guy. Don’t waste his time or yours.

I wish you luck and so much love!

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