Welcome to Talk to Me Tuesday, where you write me and I try my best to use my woman’s intuition, past life experiences, and common sense to help you along your journey.
You are probably wondering: Why does this girl think that she can just give out advice? I mean there a licensed professionals out there who can help!
Well you are right, please if you feel like this is a life or death situation, GO GET PROFESSIONAL HELP! If you just need some sound advice and a place to vent, and all of your friends are completely tired of hearing you, I got you! I have lived sooooo much in my 28 years. I have been in love a few times, I have had to break my own heart( ouch), walked away from a fiancé and the life we planned together, quit a couple of jobs, bought a house, built and maintained excellent credit, graduated from college, and I help raise 3 beautiful (and sometimes, jerks) little girls, and have found my purpose and calling. So yeah, though I do not know it all, I know a thing or two about living!
Here is one for all my Say-It-Like-It-Is ladies!
So I have been seeing this guy for about a few weeks now, and I like him, I REALLY like him. It has been an amazing few weeks and everything is going so good. Like I be in my feelings all the time over this dude. He treats me well, good with my kids, and for once I feel like I found a man who can handle me. My question is how do I not mess this one up? I feel like my bad attitude has messed up my relationships in the past and I want this to last. What should I do?
-Mz. Bad Attitude
Hey Mz. Bad Attitude! Girl go head, way to embarrass your flaws! I have to confuse that I too have a bad attitude, at times. I totally understand how the things you say out of stress and anger can come off as unkind and hurtful. I too have had boyfriends tell me about running my mouth. Even my father has tried to warn me about the misuse of my gift of gab. You would often find his telling me,” It is better to be silent and thought a fool, then to open your mouth and release all doubt.” God bless that man, he already knew the type of hell-raiser I could be.
Anyway on the your question… How do you not mess up this relationship? Honestly I don’t think that you can. You can take the time to work on yourself: learn to calm down and think before you speak, find other outlets to redirect this energy, and pray for change within you. All of things are great to start doing for your personal growth, but non of that will guarantee that your new relationship will make it.
You guys are still in the honeymoon phase where everything is new and wonderful, full of flowers and dates, plenty of new sex, and adventures. Man, don’t we all LOVE the honeymoon stage… What will determine if you all are going to make it is after all of that fades away is whether or not the two of you are willing to put in the work to actively love each other. The right person who chooses to love you will accept your flaws (bad attitude) as a part of you. They may not like it… and hopefully will check you when you are being a complete and total ass… but they accept that part of you because they love all of your good qualities. No matter how bad things may seem, they still see the potential; they still choose to stand by your side, bad attitude and all.
I wish I had a sure fire way to tell you how to make this work, but every relationship is different. It takes two people who choose one another despite what life throws at them. My only advice is to choose wisely, try not to be too picky on superficial things, keep your standards, and pray. Pray for your current and future mate (hopefully the same person), for the unity you share, and collective growth.
Best of Luck Mz. Bad Attitude!