So lately I have been kind of down. I put on a brave face for everyone else, but I have been riddled with self doubt about the recent moves that I have made in my life.
I was finally offered a Supervisor position, which to those of us who have a management degree, is like having the keys to move unto the next level in your career. I can not tell you how many time I have gone to interview and been turn down because I have not held an “official” Supervisor title. The person with the experience has always won out, even though I am more than capable to do the job.
So of course I jumped at it. It looks great on my resume. And now with this experience under my belt, I can move higher at my other company.
Sound great right? Well not so much. I don’t particularly like this new supervisor position. I am not ungrateful by no mean, and I give my 100% every time I walk through those doors. I like the people I work with, I even found a new work husband! I just don’t think I fit in with the management style. So everyday, even though I am pretty sure I am doing a great job, I feel like I am set up to fail; there is nothing that I can do about it because the issues are beyond my scope of influence. For someone like me who takes pride in their work and is good at just about anything that she puts her mind to, it’s been tough for me.
Not to mention right after I stepped down from my previous 9-5 to work the flexible schedule, a supervisor position opened in my department at my other company. The one job that I was actually hoping would open has, and I would be lying if I said I have 100% chance of getting it.
So why am I going on and on about this???? I’m not going to flex, sometimes I need to vent without having feedback, it feels good to get all out.
But with all of these distractions, I have lost sight of what I really want to do with my life. This, this is my calling. Writing and sharing my thoughts and feeling are what brings me the most joy. Whether one or one million read it, I hope that my life experiences can help someone. God has given us all a task to do before we leave this Earth, and I full-heartily believe this is mine.
I have to remind myself to not worry, it really does not help anybody, and to trust the process. All of this is part of the process. No matter what it is that you are trying to do, there is always going to be a journey you have to take: love, marriage, success, weight loss, financial stability. You have to experience wins and loses, gaining footage and then stumbling backwards a few paces. The only person who loses 100% of the time, is the person who doesn’t try.
So maybe it’s time to refocus. I have made changes and toke a risk to move further, now it’s time to trust God and His process. It’s time to continue to follow this path that I have started and to see it through. One day my voice will change the world, I just have to have faith that I can do it, and try to not to let these stumbling blocks get in the way!