I feel like I’m going in circles from both my career path to my relationship. Stuck on the inside of a traffic circle trying figure out what exit to take but getting blurred with every left turn I make. I’m talking in circles, constantly repeating myself and then conflicting my thoughts and becoming fickle minded. Remember when I asked about whether or not too much ambition is a bad thing, well I’m starting to think it might be. I have gifts and talents to be whatever I set my heart on and yet I can not seem to pick one thing. Do I continue to grow with the amazing hospital that I work for? Do attempt to switch gears and jump back head first into food industry, or do a write? I was offered my first free-lance writing opportunity and I couldn’t be more thrilled. I started connected with published authors, so a career sharing my thoughts and feels and eventually my TV show are well within my grasp. But here I am going in circles, not sure which lane is mine. I’m watching others pick their path, but I can’t seem to just go for it.
And that’s only half of my problems, in my car I have a copilot who I am not sure if I want to continue this loop with. We just going in circles. The never-ending cycle of saying I’m not happy and him asking me to just hold on a little longer. One minute the strong Queen in me says to kick him to the curb, we’ll figure this out for ourselves. He brought nothing but pain, mistrust, and a whole mess of mistakes. We can do better, and taller. Then the Goddess in me gently says he’s growing, for you. Every one of his steps is motivated by his love and desire to be better for you. Take your time, reconsider how special that is. You keep challenging him to be better and he will. It will take some time and understanding, but it will be worth it.
Around and around I go. So sure of myself and fickle all at the same time. As I sat talking to an older lady, she very sweetly reminded that I’m still young, I have a lifetime to figure it out. That lifetime seems to be coming way too fast. I feel like I have to jump, take a leap, adrenaline in my veins telling me to just turn right. Just turn Right!
-Just some of my last night thoughts. If you are on the same traffic circle as I am, this is me kindly waving and reminding you that you are not alone, as we go around and around.