Ok so I have gotten a whole bunch of feedback from my last post about my feelings on online dating. Some agreed with me, and others told me that they just aren't with it.
This is the beautiful thing about living in our age of technology, you have a choice! But I will say this again, you can't expect to find a mate organically sitting in your living room. He's not going to magically fall through your ceiling. So for my fellow online daters, I came up with steps and tips that I have learned throughout the years on how to effectively use sites and weed out the jerks.
Dating… It's like applying for the job of being my forever person, so that's how I look at each guy that approaches me.
Does he use proper grammar?
I might just be a stickler for proper grammar because I enjoy reading and I have had some excellent literature teachers, but I will not entertain a guy that does not use it correctly. We are talking those guys who say "sup" or refuse to punctuate! OMG! The run on sentences drive me absolutely insane! If I have to read what you wrote out loud just to understand what you are trying to say… yep NO! We are adults now, there is no reason that you are too lazy to put a freaking period at the end of the sentence. So if he approaches me in a correct manner I will talk to him to get to know him.
What does he have to say?
This is for the guys that make it through the initial once-over. We message a little bit, but it doesn't seem to go anywhere from there. I can not tell you how many time I have politely replied to a compliment I have gotten, only to get the follow-up of "wyd?". Or my person favorite: "You are so beautiful, blah blah blah… I would like to get to know you", I reply that would be nice, then get the "hru?" or the "wyd?". Like come on! By a certain time you have to learn the art of conversation, especially if you are applying to be with a woman, not a simple chick!
I once had a guy get all in his feelings because I stopped replying to him. He said that I must be talking to all these guys, which meant that I had a big head about who I was. I just laughed at him! Since he trying to bring me down, I politely let him that he was boring! After a few days of "wyd" or "hru" and we hadn't had any real conversation, I don't waste my time! Of course that pissed off, but that wasn't my problem. He applied for a position that he wasn't qualified to fill…. so next interview!
If we have good chemistry, talk on the phone, text or message throughout the day, then it's time to hit that first date!
So after weeding through all the potential applicants, you find one that seems nice, you have had multiple conversations, and you guys click. It's time to go on that first date. This is where I think online dating has its major advantage, you know something about him already, so the first date is not as awkward as it is when you go out with a stranger. In my experience, the guys who are genuine about getting to know you will try to go out somewhere and take you on a proper date, y'all know what I'm talking about… NO NETFLIX, NO CHILL, NO 420, non of that! If that is what he wants to do the very first time he meets you in public, yo he is trying to smash! If that is what you want… do you, but if you want something long-term, avoid that at all cost!
On your Date
A few rules on going on a date with anybody nowadays, online or not.
- Let people know where you are. We are talking best friends, parents, cousins, aunty/uncles, literally anyone who you know can have your back just in case.
- Share his contact information. Picture, where he lives, his phone number. If the worst should happen, you need your love ones to be able to find him.
- Always meet in a public place. No quiet booths, no dark place, non of that! The last thing you need if for him to be a psycho and try to kidnap you!
- Have you own way there and home! Again this is common sense, never put yourself in a position that you can not immediately get away from this person.
- Listen to your gut! If at any point you feel like something is off and you just want to get away, leave! It might be rude, but I would rather be rude and alive, then polite and in harm!
Bonus: Always get your own drink. The party rule applies here too! Keep track of your cup, don't leave it, and if you do, get a new one!
If you don't get any warning signs, and he is being a gentleman, enjoy yourself! Ask plenty of questions about him. Be honest about yourself. Have fun and create memories.
After your date, you two can decide to spend more time together again and go on a second one. Same rules apply, but take your time and go at your pace, if he wants to be around, he will wait!
I hope this helpful for all my daters out there! I have good experiences in online dating. All relationships are going to fail except the last one, so why not try something new and have a good time!